Injecting Humor Into Political Correctness

From a friend:

Due to the intense climate of us all speaking politically correct, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as HILLBILLIES. We must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

Furthermore, a woman is not a BABE or a CHICK … she’s a BREASTED AMERICAN. She’s not EASY … she’s HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She’s not a DUMB BLONDE … she’s a LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. She hasn’t BEEN AROUND … she’s a PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION. She doesn’t NAG you … she’s VERBALLY REPETITIVE. She’s not a TWO-BIT HOOKER … she’s a LOW COST PROVIDER.

And finally, you don’t have a BEER GUT … you have developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. You’re not a BAD DANCER … you’re OVERLY CAUCASIAN. You don’t GET LOST ALL THE TIME … you INVESTIGATE ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. You’re not BALDING … you’re in FOLLICLE REGRESSION. You’re not a TOTAL JERK … you simply developed a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION. And it’s not a BUTT CRACK you see … it’s REAR CLEAVAGE.

Thanks Lola. You made me laugh.

Published by

Steven Leo Campbell

I am an artist and indie-author. I draw and paint wildlife, draw cartoons, and write mostly paranormal fiction featuring Vree Erickson and a strange Pennsylvania town called Ridgewood.

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